Cosmic Geek

Drama Mamas recently tackled the topic of female gamers getting harassed in Vent. Many women, not just the letter writer in that article, have trouble talking in Vent without getting unwanted attention from male gamers. I got more than one response on Twitter and in the comments that this reason in particular is why many female players stay out of voice chat altogether.

People in the comments also suggested that women who have trouble with overzealous admirers of their voice should just stop using Vent to solve their problems. To me, this doesn’t really solve anything — it just lets the harassers control the situation. But I can see how women who are in an otherwise comfortable guild might take the quiet way out, as these commenters suggested.
Of course, there’s the opposite issue that a feminine voice will get extra special treatment. The Oatmeal recently commented on the situation and got some flak for it. (Link is NSFW.) Whether or not he was implying that all female gamers are bad — and I don’t think he was — it is a fact that guys will often be a bit gentler to a female who makes a mistake than a guy in the same situation. I have some theories about why this happens.

• Some are afraid we’ll cry. And I know this does happen, even by otherwise rational women. “Oh no! I broke the healer!”
• Some actually do have a low opinion of all female gamers and are therefore cutting them more slack. “It’s not like I expected her to do well.”
• Some are just so happy that women who share their interests are speaking in their lonely ears and are willing to forgive anything. “She didn’t mean to. She has a pretty voice.”

The last one is more demeaning to males than to females, in my opinion.

And then there are the drama queens who ruin it for everyone. They get in voice chat and flirt with players in committed relationships. They talk over important conversations or activities. They make bawdy jokes but complain when others do the same. They are oversensitive to snarky comments. They are explicit about sexual activities and bodily functions. Most of all, they make it uncomfortable for any other woman to be in Vent. /sigh

What do you think? Should women who get unwanted attention in voice chat just stay out of it? Is there too much coddling of women in groups if they speak in Vent? To female gamers only: Are you OK with the tendency for guys to be easier on you in groups over voice chat? Or do you find it demeaning?